


Curiosity Killed the Cat (But Satisfaction Brought it Back)

by mariejeanne



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Deputy Derek, Humor, M/M, Police Officer Derek, Pre-Relationship, Stiles Stilinski is a Tease, Stiles is literally the devil, UST, Underage Stiles Stilinski, can't believe there's a tag for that omfg, i feel like a little old lady when it comes to technology yet I am basically five, idk what else to tag this as, just get together ugh, stiles is a lil shit, well he's turning 18 but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariejeanne/pseuds/mariejeanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't you have friends?" </p><p>"Yeah, but they're not as fun to mess with as you are." </p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Derek Hale is a well respected officer of the law who just wants to keep his job, and Stiles Stilinski is the Sheriff's heathen son who's determined to ruin Derek's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curiosity Killed the Cat (But Satisfaction Brought it Back)

**Author's Note:**

> Also known as: Officer Sexy McBroody Pants, Captain Smartass, and the Case of the Unresolved Sexual Tension

There were only three things in Derek's life that he's certain about.

1) Kate Argent was a crazy, devious, _evil_ woman with an unhealthy fetish for fire and trying to destroy people's lives.

2) The Twilight series were the worst movies and books on earth. Seriously, what the actually _hell_ Peter?

3) He did something really horrible in his past life to warrant this much bad luck.

All he really wanted to do right now was eat his damn sandwich in peace, but instead the universe decided to mess with him by sending him a mouthy teenager; a mouthy teenager who made it his life mission to fuck with Derek's day by purposely trying to turn him on with his innuendos and long lashes. Derek was not attracted to him, okay, and he most definitely was not turned on by the teen standing in front of his desk what so ever. 

Oh, who was he kidding? He was totally turned on.

But in his defense, the Stilinski kid was seductively licking ice cream in front of him. His tongue slowly moving from the bottom of the frozen treat to the very tip and then repeating the motion again and again and again. He watched as Stiles leisurely swirled his tongue around the top and he let out a sigh of contentment. Derek cursed the universe, once again, for being so cruel towards him. God, Derek could perfectly picture all the sinful things the kid could do with his tongue...what else he could wrap his lips around and-

_Wait, shit._

Derek screwed his eyes shut, trying to get the lewd and incredibly inappropriate thought out of his mind but it only served to conjure up an even more vivid image of said lewd thoughts. Derek slid his hands over his face, hoping that the act would scrub the picture from his mind.

It didn't.

Derek let out a frustrated groan.

"You okay Derek?" Stiles questioned. Derek didn't eve have to have his eyes open to know that the kid was smirking, obviously aware of the pain he was causing Derek.

What a little shit.

"Don't you have school?" Derek growled as he opened his eyes and sent a silent thank you to whoever was listening that Stiles was momentarily distracted from his too-inappropriate-for-church-tongue-dance. Derek didn't mean to be so harsh towards the kid, but hey, if Stiles wanted him to be nice and peachy then maybe he shouldn't have gone out of his way to cause Derek to pop a boner in his place of work. Which is also Stiles' dad's place of work. Who just so happens to be Derek's boss. His boss with access to all sorts of guns and who could probably make Derek's death look like an accident if he really wanted to.

_Fucking shit._

Stiles shot him an amused look which only served to cause Derek to deepen his frown. "It's Saturday."

"Don't you have friends?" Derek shot back.

"Yeah, but they're not as fun to mess with as you are." Stiles replied. As if to prove his point, Stiles brought the frozen treat to his mouth, closed his lips around the top, and _fucking sucked_ _the tip_ before pulling the vanilla ice cream away from his lips.

Who the _fuck_ eats ice cream like that? Actually, no. Who the _fuck_ would even eat vanilla ice cream of all things?

"Your taste in ice cream flavors disgusts me." Derek scowled as he leaned forward onto his desk, trying to position himself in a way so his painfully tight pants wouldn't be noticed by anybody who may possibly come back early from their lunch break.

"What, you don't like vanilla?"

"Vanilla is bland and unimaginative." Derek said simply.

Stiles quirked his lips into a devious grin and Derek knew he was in for it now. The younger boy leaned down onto Derek's desk, placed his empty right hand firmly onto the mahogany surface, and brought his lips to rest a few centimeters away from the deputy's left ear. Derek did everything in his power to not turn and place his mouth onto Stiles' because he had some self-preservation skill, alright? He was not going to endanger the state of his manhood by doing something with the Sheriff's _underage_ son.

"It's a good thing this ice cream is the only vanilla thing I like then." Stiles whispered.

Derek felt himself stiffen and Stiles laughed at the reaction as he pulled back. A flash of warmth flowed throughout Derek and he wasn't sure whether it was a reaction to Stiles' words or to his laugh that Derek seemed to fall in love with each time he heard it.

Not that he would ever admit that out loud.

Stiles was wearing a shit eating grin that only seemed to get wider when Derek shot him an unamused look.

"Well, as much as I've enjoyed our time together, I think I'm gonna head home. I have some _videos_ to watch. I'll see you later man." Stiles winked at him, turned his head to the left to call out a goodbye to his dad, whose office door Derek didn't even realize was open, and then walked out of the station with a pep in his step.

What a little shit.

Derek turned his gaze towards the Sheriff and felt his boner wilt at the look on the older man's face. As he peered down at the sandwich he no longer felt compelled to eat, Derek was now absolutely certain of four things.

1) Kate Argent was an evil woman who needed to revaluate her choices and find a less evil hobby that did _not_ involve attempted murder and/or fire.

2) Twilight was a horrible franchise and seriously _what the hell is wrong with his uncle?_

3) The universe was getting back at him for something because nobody had this much bad luck unless they deserved it.

4) Stiles Stilinski was a little shit who was going to get him killed.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay originally I was going to post this as a one shot but it's been a year since I started writing this and I've made little to no progress in completing it so now I'm just going to split it into three parts in hopes it somehow helps my writers block.
> 
> EDIT: It's been over a year since I posted this and posting this did absolutely nothing to help my writer's block omg. I actually had part of chapter 2 written, but it was so bad and so cheesy that not even the power of prayer could heal its soul. I kind of like the way this ended tbh, so for now, I think I'm just going to mark this as complete. I'm sorry to anyone who subscribed :(


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